Friday, February 19, 2010
humans are undoubtedly the most complex living organism that ever inhibited earth... we are not only complex in terms of physical, but also mental and emotions... have you ever noticed how we criticize others without ever looking at ourselves first...? how we say that person is this, that person is that when we are actually not very different from them...? sometimes it's better to just keep quiet than spitting out useless garbage... you see, as much as we love to criticize others for their flaws, we should always remember that we too have our flaws... we look at others and deem them inferior... it is actually a very bad to look down at others... it can't be helped since most of us fight to get to the top... but looking down on others just because they aren't as good as you is just plain wrong... sometimes, it is better if we evaluate OURSELVES first... as much as freedom of speech is concerned, it has its limits... so, don't just simply say something about someone just because you can... look at yourself first and ask yourself; am i really better than him/her...? if i am, what gives me the right to say so...? sometimes we look at other people and say they are lousy... but the matter of fact is, our own people ain't that great either... it is actually the mentality of people... i used to have this mentality... i, unfortunately, have to learn the hard way that all isn't as it seems... to say others are weaker and that we are better is baseless... we are equally as bad as them... sure, they under perform... they slack... but we aren't any better than them... just because our outcome is better than them doesn't mean a single damn thing... i put my hope and faith in my own believe just to get bloody disappointed... and yet, i still try to give it a chance... but in the end, i doesn't really matter... the outcome does not change... i still end up disappointed...
i have said it before... the simplest things are the hardest to achieve... we hope that we can depend on others... we give them our faith and trust... but in the end we are the ones that have to make our own dreams come true... sometimes all we want is a little help from others... a little push and encouragement... but what do we get in return...? disappointment... it goes without saying: "sometimes you just have to do everything on your own..." the world has evolved into such that people are no longer trustworthy, no longer dependable, no longer able to give you that little push you desperately need... even your closest friends and colleagues can disappoint in a blink of an eye... such a problem can never be solved... the only way to get it worked out is to kill (yes, i said KILL) all your emotions, put on that fake smile, and take that problem head on... sometimes its better to hurt yourself than let others hurt you... especially the people you care about... if a stranger hits you in the face, you only feel physical pain... if a love one hits you in the face, you feel physical and emotional pain... what more if a love one disappoints you... stabs you in the face AND in the heart, leave you to bleed to death... which is why it is better to hurt yourself now than get hurt by others later... no point being patient, sucking everything in and end up in a puddle of your own blood and tears... sometimes it is better to just do what you have to do... kill or be killed...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
yours truly is back...! =) anyways... i'm back for the chinese new year (cny) holidays... its been about a month and a half since i started semester 2 of my studies... so far i still can cope... nothing i can't handle... however, the transition of the holidays to my new semester wasn't that smooth as i hoped it would be... some expected and unexpected things happened... i still hoped that it wouldn't have turned out the way it did but it has already happened... so, the past is the past... however much i hated to do the things i do, but the key to my emotions and my heart is already locked and kept safely guarded... ok... enough of the ranting... updates... this year, i spent new year with my 'new' family... they are my friends and housemates in university... celebration was very very simple... two bottles of coke, some snacks and of course company... friends... although i would love to spend it with a loved one (ahem!) and family, but i had to make do with what i had... but it was still good enough... i don't have a loved one and family is a little far away... so, yea... studies was manageable... although, i would really like to say this: to my math lecturer, STOP GIVING SO MUCH WORK... we aren't just studying your subject... ==" so far i finished most of my tests... things aren't bad... but they aren't that good either... so, i'm trying to stop slacking so much and focus more on my studies...
cny this year is not that much different from the previous years... the only unique thing is that this year, cny coincides with valentines day... but, it ain't that special anyways... every year, i spend or should i say don't spend valentines day... being single all this while, i don't really think valentines day as something special anymore... i'm so used to spending it alone, valentines day is just another day in the year... but to make things clear, cny will own valentines day any time... period... we are a race that is steeped in tradition... as much as we would love to take our better half for a nice, romantic dinner, i still think we would consider family over our better half... so, no romantic dinners for me... maybe in, i don't know, 50 years...? yea... that sounds more right...
i'm not really a strong believer in astrology, horoscope reading and feng shui... but lately, crazy and really unexpected things have been happening... they ain't good things mind you... after watching a couple of feng shui programmes on tv, i'm a bit convinced... to those born in the year of the snake (that would be me ==), the beginning of the year would be a pretty bad one... generally, doesn't really matter if it's financial, health and even love, things aren't good for us... i do remember one of the feng shui masters saying that love will improve in the second half of the year... well, i sure do hope so... ==
anyways, i will be leaving this coming sunday... classes are going to resume next week... yea, it's pretty crappy when you only get 1 week of holidays while others get 2 weeks for their new year... never mind if you don't get what i just said... but at least it's better than none... so, new updates will be out once my semester is over... i won't be updating so soon as i normally like to update when i'm alone in my room... more privacy... besides, i don't need to update so often since no one actually reads my blog anyways... so why bother... ^^ see ya soon...
