my side of the story... wanna hear it?

Sunday, January 04, 2009

it's 4 days past 2009... i know i should at least post a happy new post but i somehow just didn't want to... i have no idea why... maybe it's the fact i'm not so looking forward to this year... there are many changes coming this year... maybe i'm just not ready to face them... not just yet... i couldn't sleep last night... many things were running through my mind... what happened in the past, what i should do in the present and what awaits me in the future... as i reflect back on the past year, i realise there were many good, bad and the downright ugly things that happened to me, my family, my friends and the people around me; decisions and actions that i made that were good and there are those i made without think and evaluating maturely... i feel that what i have done in the past has made me grow up a little more; making me realise how some decisions can make such a difference no matter how big or small that decision is... i believe most things happen for a reason despite it being bad... maybe it's a sign for us to be careful, think maturely, be more attentive to our surroundings...

as i look back even more, i feel blessed to have met the people i have met... each one of you made an impact in my life; whether it being good or otherwise... but time has brought me to a point where i have to take a different route... the route to my future... honestly speaking, i would rather have it if some things never change... well, of course most people will tell me to "look on the bright side"... i would if only the bright side was bright enough for me to see... i never considered myself to be a person to have many friends... knowing someone doesn't make him/her your friend... a friend is a person whom you can connect with, feel comfortable around, being able to be your true self without having to fake a single feeling, being able to talk about just anything without feeling any discomfort... real friends make your true self reveal itself... whether you agree on this matter is solely up to you...

there are of course the normal questions people ask when they meet up with me after not meeting up for a long time... questions such as "what is your future study plan?", "what are u doing currently?" and of course the dreaded question "got girlfriend already?" why do i say dreaded question...? sure... it's nice being single... but it's equally nice to be attached also... that lovey-dovey feeling, holding hands, getting and showing PDA... those of you who are/has been in a relationship should get what i'm trying to say... i know i may sound like a desperate person but in fact i'm not... if i was, i would be dating random girls... but do i wish to be attached...? yes... i don't see why not... maybe the timing might not be perfect but nothing is perfect anyways... no, this is not advert for me seeking companionship... i'm not THAT desperate...

so, what's the main purpose of this post...? i just need to let out how i feel... that's all... i'm not the type of guy who can just tell random people how i feel just to get simpathy and more aquintances... i don't have, what i call it, the balls to carry out such a task... call me whatever names you want... i don't care... i'm just being who i am... i may not be every girl's dream guy, nor am i the perfect friend... i'm only human with abundance of flaws...

anyways, happy 2009 to everyone i know out there, near or far, high or low... may the new year be a blessed one for you... i hope the same for me too...