my side of the story... wanna hear it?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

2009... so far, not much has happened... well, it's been about 2 weeks... i'm kinda lost right... not literally... but more of not knowing my next step... many of my friends have already started working... i'm still not sure whether i want to work... it's a 50-50 thing... okay okay... i admit i'm kinda lazy... but i sit at home with nothing to do... so working might be a good option... MUET results will be out this coming thursday... frankly, i don't think i can get the same or better result than the previous test i took... the new format is much more difficult than the previous format...

anyways, that aside, chinese new year is coming... hmm... i don't feel excited at all... not a hint of it... as strange as it may sound, i don't feel i can get into the cny mood... just not this year... something is just not right for me this year... economy's bad, war happening again... seems like a very bad welcoming for 2009... changes perhaps, is what i fear most... honestly speaking, i rather be in school once again... i kinda miss school life... i envy those who are still schooling... growing older kinda sucks right now... its like responsibilities grow proportionately with age... i feel i'm about to take on more responsibilities in the coming months... i so wish i was in form 4 again... those were the best times of my life... lesser responsibilities back then... life wasn't exactly a bed of roses but it was close to that... but now, i feel like i'm about to lie on a bed of cactus, with sharpened steel nails as their spines... i do not doubt my ability to handle my future responsibilities, its how well i handle them that i doubt... how much pressure and stress i can sustain before i break... will i be like glass; brittle and very breakable, or will i be like a steel spring; able to hold more than expected...? that is the question that remains unanswered... for now at least... all in all, i'm hoping for the best... and i really miss school...!!