Wednesday, November 07, 2007
last nite i couldnt sleep... i hav no idea y... oh well... so i spent my time lyin on my bed half-starin at da ceiling and my eyes half-closed... while i was doin tht, i let my mind wonder... it began explorin da many 'wonders' life had to offer... question were plenty n it began askin some of them... hav u ever felt tht ur life is sucky...? tht other ppl r alwis betta off compared to u...? hav u ever looked at a fren n see him/her usin da lastest phone but ur is an ancient 1...? or hav u ever seen a lovin couple on da street n wondered y u still remained single...? or y some ppl lead sure happy lives n while urs is literally a piece of trash...? if u hav answered yes to all my questions earlier, step into my sampan as we both r experiencin 'wonders' life hav to offer... its crap... reli... but some ppl say tht life is in our own hands n how plays out is dependent on us... do i agree...? no... n yes... no, becos many factor/s affect our lives whether we like it or not... its somethin called DESTINY... (i somehow do believe in destiny... hard to explain...) yes, becos we must determine our actions 1st... although our actions may not necessarily be da best... but we determine our actions based on da situation rite...? so wat would u do if this situation involves da ones u love most...? n ur course of action is 1 u reli, reli, don wan to take becos it would hurt not onli u but ur love ones too...? thts wat is goin on rite now in my family... me vs my dad,mom n sis... >.<>
1) let things be... n continued to be stepped over, or
2) simply fight back
guess wat...? i chose choice 2... my sick-o-meter is reachin max... but jus becos im fightin back doesnt mean i hav to be rude to them... they r after all still my family... but i will not be so nice as i used to be last time... things hav to be done differently... this time... my way... criticize me all u wan... i don care... its bout time i did somethin... all this talk bout bein fair to others is PURE rubbish... pic this... my sis is STILL usin my dad's old num... n its a LINE... my dad is still PAYIN for it... but i hav to PAY for MY OWN bills... oh yea... i hav my P license... but im not drivin... y...? becos my sis is NOT ALLOWED to drive... since she is not allowed to drive... im NOT ALLOWED too... fair...? 'very' it seems...
i woke up this mornin feelin very tired... i got more than enuf sleep... yet i wake up feelin tired... im not physically tired... im not mentally tired... im EMOTIONALLY tired... i can sleep for hours but still feel tired... my mom wonders y i can sleep for hours... =.= i seriously hav no place to go now... i jus hav to carry on as long as i can... oh well... *yawn* im feelin tired... i'll stop here... time to go relieve some stress...
