my side of the story... wanna hear it?: if there is still hope...

Saturday, August 25, 2007

i hate my life... seriously... n literally... but not to da point where i will do stupid stuff... like wat a fren of mine said, 'Life is like a vacum... it sucks...' totally agree... many or i should say all of my frens/family don know this becos i don show my true feelings... i alwis keep it to myself... my crazy, alwis laughin behavior is like a mask... hidin all da pain, loneliness n ugly side of me... so much so tht rite now my patience is at its very limit... anythin can set me off... but as i see things... its not so bad after all... mainly becos i begin to be more straightforward... if i hav somethin to say i will say it whether u like it or not... if i think somethin is not to my likin n if its wrong i will say... it depends on how i will say it... if im reli pissed... then a lot of ugly words will come out... n i don care who u r... u can be da prime minister's son/daughter for all i care...

lately i've been observin a lot of stuff... some stuff i nvr expected... since then it made me wonder... (damn... maroon 5's makes me wonder is playin in my head -.-) after meetin wit some frens who r currently furtherin their studies in collage n other places... i noticed majority of them hav found someone... someone they like... but i was shocked to know tht some of them whom i nvr though would ACTUALLY get 1 did da totally opposite... they actually got 1... maybe its jus me... my past xperience made me long for tht feelin even more... though my past xperience wasnt somethin i would call beautiful i treasure it nonetheless... now i long for somethin i might nvr get for a very long time... longing for a hand to hold... a heart to love... someone to hug me when im cold... someone to laugh wit me when i laugh... fantasy? yes... fantasies would be nice... but now its reality... n it sucks... big time... especially for me...