Saturday, June 23, 2007
frustration... tht's wat i've been feelin for da past few days... pilin homework (my fault actually), other responsibilities, puttin up wit ppl askin reli stupid questions, etc... my patience is wearin thin... reli... i jus finished my pengajian am presentation... da powerpoint presentation is done but da speaker notes n other notes r not yet complete... hav to finish everythin by tmr... i still hav an essay to write... chem still got some questions... math tuition homework not yet touch... hav to cram everythin tmr... all this has lead me to question myself... i dunno y but things jus don seem to be headin da more comfortable direction for me... maybe its my lazy attitude (i hate to admit but...) or maybe its somethin else... da surroundin factors to play a role... ppl jus seem to ask/tell me things at da wrong time... for instance... 2day mornin i went for breakfast wit my dad... ask we were sittin down n sippin our tea... da topic of takin risks came out... i had my own opinion so did my dad... but our opinions kinda contradict... so i gave an example to clarify/strengthen my point... but then my dad said "y would u do tht? its not a realistic example... there is a better way to bla bla bla..." i was seriously taken aback... i said "its jus an example... y r u changin topic?" after tht i jus kept quiet while my dad continued... then this question kept runnin in my head "why did i bother to even talk in da 1st place? if i jus shut my damn mouth ntg would hav happened..." doesnt seem like a big prob rite? but things arent as they seem... some situations jus make u feel like 'i jus should not hav done it'... it doesnt matter whether its somethin big or small... its kinda frustratin... im seriously beginnin to crack under pressure... wit my patience wearin thin, da littlest of things can make me lose my temper... i cant help it... i tried stayin positive but there is no effect... prefect probation is comin up in a week or two... i reli hope i can stand tht period... if not i might jus do somethin i will reli regret...
Monday, June 18, 2007
today is a reli bad day... its 1 of those days when u wake up n go "i hav a reli bad feelin bout today"... da moment i woke up i had 1 sucky feelin... somethin told me things r goin to go horribly wrong... tru enuf... things DID go very wrong... i didnt go skol today becos i had to take my JPJ drivin test n today is da last day of orientation for da lower sixes... da highlight of today's orientation is da drama activity... my group however lack manpower... so da end result would not be as good or great as expected... i nvr reli had high expectations for my group as i knew they worked hard n i jus hoped thy had fun... da best drama title was not on my mind at all... but 1 thing i reli hoped for is tht my group would not go as da 1st or last group... reason: bein da 1st group would most likely kill their courage n bein last is as equally bad becos most of da audience would not pay attention anymore...
while i was waitin to take my road test (da hill, parkin n 3 corners test i passed =]) my group's facilitator (faci) SMSed me tellin tht my group tht they didnt get da best drama title... as i (kinda) expected i told my faci not to worry... but she told me tht my group members gave their best n they r kinda disappointed... plus... my group went last... tht was when i went "uh oh"... it was a bad sign... tru enuf... i then went for my road test... all went well... until... i made a mistake when i left da JPJ test centre... as i was exitin da centre i over-steered to da left n nearly entered da longkang... managed to avoid tht but da JPJ officer asked me to pull over... tht was da moment when (nearly) everythin came crashin down... he told me to leave da drivers seat as he is goin to drive... da reason behind it was wat happened earlier he noted down as dangerous drivin... he then asked me did i let go of da steerin wheel... i explained tht i didnt n i over-steered n i was reli nervous... after signin all da documents he took over da wheel n drove back to da centre... then he asked... "u 1st time ke?" so i said yea... he then asked me "u nervous ke?" i said yea... by da way he asked me i somehow got da feelin he wanted to let me continue da test but cant becos its wrong to do tht... he maybe felt bad becos of a small mistake i made n had to fail me... honestly... i felt like kickin myself tht time... i felt so disappointed n frustrated... it was tht moment when i realized tht da bad feelin i had this mornin somehow indirectly showed tht today is goin to be bad... but wat can i do... disappointed as i am, i still hav to face reality rite? looks like i hav to skip skol next monday to retake da test... sigh...
Monday, June 04, 2007
wohoo...!! *smilin from ear to ear* i finally bought da new linkin park cd... i donno wat to say... jus too happy... most importantly... i got a free poster...!! ermmm.... maybe im a lil to ecstatic... (eccentric maybe?) i'll hold tht thought... i feel sry to those who pre-booked da cd becos they wanted da poster... i got it without pre-bookin... hehehe... ok ok... i better stop be4 i go crazy... im actually listenin to it as i write (or type...??!!) this... its sound is diff from their ori sound... more of a break away from their nu-metal/hip-hop rock sound... interestin i must say... i say this not becos im a fan... its an honest opinion... here's the song listin...:
1. Wake
2. Given Out
3. Leave Out All the Rest
4. Bleed it out
5. Shadow of the Day
6. What I've Done
7. Hands Held High
8. No More Sorrow
9. Valentine's Day
10. In Between
11. In Pieces
12. The Little Thing Give You Away
chester sounds amazing as usual... it's a nice cd to listen to... give it a shot even if u're not a fan of rock music... no guarantees u will like it... musical taste differs among individuals...
