Wednesday, October 25, 2006
not too long ago, i attended a function a fren of mine organised. it was a small function, about 9 ppl attended includin me. everythin was goin ok. as we were eatin lunch, the subject about wat we were goin to do after spm popped up. i was kinda quiet tht day. so i did most of da listenin. after listenin, i didnt really cared much cos it didnt seem to matter at tht time. jus be4 lunch was over, i recieved news tht another fren of mine might be leavin malaysia to further studies.
2 days after tht function, this issue started botherin me. i began to realise tht after spm things are goin to change, and the worse part is, its goin to affect almost everyone. i kept on thinkin, "im goin to lose my frens becos of time." everyone has their own plans, includin me. some are leavin the country, some are goin to college. but, losin frens is not wat seems to bother me the most, its da possibility tht i may nvr see them again. c'mon , think about it. everyone is goin thier separate ways, and there's ntg anyone can do about it.
initially, i felt very happy for my fren who might be furthurin studies outside malaysia. but after givin much thought about it, i actually dont want my fren to leave. this applies to everyone i know regardless of their future plans; i dont wan anythin to change the way they are now. how can i be so selfish to say this? how can i be happy and yet sad at the same time? questions i cannot answer no matter how hard i try. why has life got to be so unfair? why do all of us hav to separate? why cant things stay the way they are now? i know, some of you (readers) might be sayin, "aiyah, why worry... email got wat, hp num got wat. anytime can call rite...?" true. but there are somethings even technology cannot do. emails and smses can keep us in touch, but they cannot bring back the fun times and memories we share in person. the feelin is differen. enjoy tht person's presence, talkin to tht person face-to-face, can nvr be done wit technology.
some of u might be familiar wit Vitamin C's song 'Graduation'.
as we go on,
we remember,
all the times we had together,
as our lives change,
come whatever,
we will still be,
friends forever.
no better way to say this but to immortalize it in a song like how william shakesphere immortalize his fren in his poem 'Sonet 18'. i now realise how important my frens are to me. they say, "you will nvr appreciate somethin until you hav lost it". maybe i realised too late. my frens are as important to me, if not more, than my life. regardless of gender, age, race and religion, i love every single one of them. i know, i nvr show it directly but everyone of you are special and unique.
most of you (readers) might be sayin, "its ok to separate... we can still find new frens." although it is true, but new frens can nvr replace the old one's we lost. sigh... the hardest part in all this is the goodbye's. its nvr easy to say one and mean it. as i look back in sadness, i realise i could hav done so much for my frens, and yet, i didnt. countless opportunities presented themselves to me, opportunities to show my love and gratitude to them, but i didnt make us of it.
i hav ntg much to say, but i do hope i made my point here. i love my frens so much till i find it so hard to let them go. i nvr once thought this would happen, but tht was jus simply naive of me. as i begin to understand wat i hav to do as a fren, i know i must take watever opportunities i have left to show my frens how i truly care for them be4 its too late. so, i apologize for wat ever mistakes i made and watever comments or statements i made tht may hav hurt anyone, i take it back. if possible, pls forgive me whole-heartedly. everyone of you hav a special place in my heart. thanks for makin life such a joy for me. i hope i can turn back time , and relive all those moments we share together. thanks for makin who i am today.
